I am drawing a line in the sand.
Have you ever seen that movie "Yes, Man?" Jim Carrey plays a guy who is hypnotized by a guru to only say yes whenever someone asks him to do something. As a result, his life becomes richer, fuller, but crazier, and more suspicious because he is incapable of saying no.
I admit. I have taking the "Yes Man" approach to life. In some cases, it has worked out great. I doubt I would be belly dancing right now if I would have said no when I was invited to the Zephyr Spirit Tribe Christmas party last year.
There is a value to yes and there is a value to no. The question is, though, what does my heart want?
From here on out, I will feel the fear and move consciously from fear to self-love. For years, I was trapped in a self-made bubble called "I will do whatever YOU want me to do." That is NOT the same as saying yes from my heart. That is picking up a commitment, hobby, lifestyle choice, or habit because I think its going to make life more comfortable for the OTHER PERSON - not me. Instead, I went with the flow, slapped on a plastic smile and a canned child-like enthusiasm and went for it with gusto.
I felt kind of like one of those spiders, the kind I played with as a kid. I would throw it on the wall and watch with glee as it crawled down. Then, when it lost its sticky, it would drop. Then, I would either throw it back up there again or walk away from the game because the spider got too dirty to stick.
When it came to trying something new, I became like the spider. Sure, I would go for it. Then, I would lose interest or simply quit. I'd lose my sticky and drop my drive, passion, and desire to the ground. I'd deliver excuse after excuse. I'd double book myself on "accident."
Truly, living to please others is a logistical nightmare.
At Wanderlust, last year, I took a yoga workshop that taught me something I didn't know. As a human being, I can be a lying machine. I lie to myself, to others, to the wall to preserve damage to my fragile yet HUGE ego.
One thing that is incapable of lying though is my body.
I didn't make the connection that my body's response to my actions, activities, and behaviors was trying to act like a GPS. My mind just wouldn't let it.
So now, when I feel it, I will say yes - in the name of experience, development, and growth. I'm not going to be just all in or all out. I will live somewhere in the middle and listen to my heart.
In other words, I will be authentic and embrace vulnerability at all costs.
Here is my commitment, which is at the core of this project. I am going to try 40 new things before the age of 40. Some of these things will become part of what I continue to do. Other things, after a few conversations with my heart, I will thank for the experience and move on graciously. I will be vulnerable with WHY I stopped doing these things, WHAT I learned, and WHO my participation or non-parcipation affects.
From today, I have a little more than a year to accomplish this goal.
I will make this happen by:
1) Doing a heart centered meditation each night and asking for guidance in my dreams from my unconscious self.
2) Being open to opportunities when they are presented to me.
3) Consciously evaluating opportunities and listening to my heart for a go or no go response.
4) Stepping past fear and into self-love to push go, commit, and take action.
5) Continue to listen to my heart to determine how I truly felt about this new thing, if I would do it again, or if I need to be grateful from the experience and learn from it.
This is where I hope this community will come in.
I would love to....
1) Have a community to be accountable to and likewise provide motivation and accountability to the community.
2) Witness people walking this path with me, committing to stepping past fear into self-love and expanding their horizons.
3) Hear stories about people at or approaching mid-life and the interesting ways they experience life and grow in the process.
4) Know that this project has inspired people, whether they are moved by my stories or someone else's.
5) Share this project with as many people as possible to give back to the world the best way I can.
I am not going to fall into old patterns and list all 40 things at once. I am going to let life and the flow of experience take its course.
The project can't be driven by me alone. Well, it could, but it wouldn't exactly add to the stream of life and do good things in the world if it was just me doing "stuff" would it? It takes you talking to me, sharing on Facebook, or Twitter #lifebeginsatmidlife or #40by40. Post on Pinterest. I'll be doing some video blogs to support this project as well.
I will share your experiences and they will inspire others, and others, and others... you can see where this is going.
I am drawing a line in the sand to make a difference in my life and other people's lives.
I hope to hear your stories soon.